Bake Your Cake

To Kill a MockingGeek

Alexis Ibarra-Ibarra

What would it take to kill a MockingGeek? A Pandemic? Nuclear Winter? Tech Uprising? Political Dystopia? Let’s state the obvious, as Geeks, we know how to quarantine and hide from people, we live and breathe from it. Our pale-sickish-sexy tan took hours under the beautiful screenshine and the glare of the electricity reflecting on the surface of our favorite sci-fi/fantasy/geek book or graphic novel. We proudly meme our tragic existence and mock every single dooming situation that stalks humanity. Black nonsense humor is, after all, the new Black. Granted, not all memers are geeks, but geeks have acquired a broad set of skills and tools to survive and save humanity under isolation and desolation. Our minds are prepared for this. We know how to stay at home, as well as very detailed safety protocols. Besides, we blindly rely on our Death-Stranding-like Food Delivery App to survive (this was the point I realized that we should have gone to hoard Doritos and Monsters, and maybe buy a bunker at Costco… What if the delivery guys actually… well… die?).

Some geeks are freaking out because of the shitty situation we are living right now, and no one blames them. I am not even going to state which one because I don’t even know which one is the worst, and, to be honest, I feel a narcissistic desire to write a timeless article. However, we keep playing, watching, and reading stories about apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic worlds and failed states. That has made us MENTALLY TOUGH AS HELL. It is funny that non-geeks usually shame us for trying to escape from reality with “our childish little toys”, but we even have memes about bookstores moving our top sellers to their contemporary affairs sections. The world is fucked-up, “no shit, Sherlock!” So why do we keep torturing us watching Flu and Resident Evil, and playing Fallout and The Last of Us?

I would say our brain is learning valuable lessons on how to survive (or at least is trying to do that). First, this weird “escapism” allows us to be non-social creatures, so we can act as independent non-social entities capable of enjoying our own company (awww). Moreover, we “obviously” know how to handle a gun without remorse (according to the not-at-all-stupid-pro-censorship governments), move in the shadows, prepare death traps, and find supplies (just a combination on the controller or keyboard, right?). We also have enough skills to match with a fellow geek online. Consequently, we could try to repopulate the world through distance and virtual relationships.

They may kill our spirits a little bit (try more “annihilate”) without electricity and internet. Most Geeks don’t know how nature works without YouTube or Wikipedia, so Geeks, in general, don’t really know anything about mass-production agriculture, gathering drinkable water, identifying poisonous food, or manufacturing medicines (weirdly, our staff does know how to do that). We also may not be the healthiest and fittest demographics, so… basically, if the world goes to hell, most probably Geeks are going down with it. But at least let’s mock our reality: it’s going to be funnier and, more importantly, memeable. That is essential since memes will help us preserve all human knowledge for some kind of posterity in just a couple of Terabytes. If we do that, we can feel proud of trying to teach those future beings on how not to destroy their world with their stupidity as we did (even if we know they will anyhow). Then, my first survival advice for humanity is to create memes now that we still have non-censored internet (in some places) and hide them in the deep web.

I know you were hoping for me to say that we would have a Geek uprising and consolidate a fascist dictatorship to subjugate the right-now-oppressing non-Geek system with our unmatchable Geek skills, but, SPOILER ALERT, the “mockingbird” dies at the end of the book. Hence, the “plot twist” was not a plot twist at all because it’s in the title. I’ll leave you with a few more pieces of advice, and though you may think me cynical for it, I promise I’m quite lovely: just try to be smart (i.e. not an anti-vaxxer), question stupid politicians, and wash your hands; read, play, and have fun; hang out with your online relationships; and, finally, read our blog. Never forget that entertainment and leisure are fundamental in times of crisis and non-crisis because they keep us kind of sane in this fucked-up world, so keep having fun (in isolation) despite everything.

Bonus advice: Stash yourself with Geek products now that they are on sale because it’s common knowledge that Global Economy is going to hell as well, and Geeky stuff does not produce itself by magic as we want to believe.

Featured image taken from Downtown State College

2 replies on “To Kill a MockingGeek”

[…] To Kill a MockingGeek is a HUGE stereotype hyperbole (NO WAY!) that talks about why Geeks are probably the best mentally prepared sector of the global population for facing the end of the world. It also explains why we are very likely to die first or, at best, die anyway. We are indeed memeing our tragic existence, portraying the global catastrophes through dark humor, sarcasm, irony, and general nonsense jokes. Hence, YAY! […]

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